Busting my education myths

When parents who were educated in traditional schools choose to homeschool, we often find some of our unspoken myths about education busted by experience. Investigating unschooling - the movement of less-structured homeschooling where the student's interest drives the activities, not the curriculum - taught me about ways to approach instructing by understanding learning. Traditionally schooled folks who choose unschooling go through a process of "de-schooling" where we deliberately learn to let go of the self-imposed structures we were taught related to education. Here are a few of my personal myths (busted):

1. "Learning is serious."

Did you hear variations on this idea as a kid: "Adults go to work; kids go to school?" This idea might be a justification for sending kids to school, but it impressed on me that learning is serious business, and that I need to "work hard" to succeed at school. However, cognitive scientists have found that most humans learn better when they are relaxed, playing, having fun, and interested. Honestly even in my visits to schools for various appointments, the children smiled and seemed to enjoy themselves. When I first sat down to teach my then six-year-old from a lesson plan, I took it seriously, and it showed on my face. I inadvertently stressed him out. In the years since, I've had much better success with engagement and interest when my kids AND I are smiling, relaxed, and engaging a topic without such emphasis on being serious.

2. "Schooling is done with worksheets."

Especially in the early grades, when the child is just learning to read and write, worksheets can be meaningless paperwork or even overwhelmingly stressful. There are so many ways to learn and practice skills like reading and number sense that don't produce worksheets. Education can be had through sensory activities, with manipulatives, on a white board, with games, through videos, and with everyday tasks like cooking, laundry, and shopping. At first, it worried me - but, I eventually realized that by keeping my own notes I was producing a record of the "instruction time." We can take photos and videos with a phone for a portfolio record. The homeschool requirements do not say anywhere that we must fill out or provide worksheets.

3. "I have to use my 'teacher voice' to instruct my kids."

Ugh. Some of my many teachers had a "teacher voice" that felt irritating and condescending. Weirdly, I've found myself using a "teacher voice" when trying to instruct, and mine is just as impersonal and off-putting because it means that I disconnect from the conversation and lecture *at* my kids. They almost immediately look uncomfortable or disengaged, and I can tell I've lost them. Instead, as my favorite unschooling writers often remark, focusing on connection works better. My kids love to watch YouTube videos and learn quite a bit on their own time. They love to bring what they know to a conversation, and when we have a lesson, the back and forth really keeps them engaged in the topic.

What internalized myths do you have about education? What have you learned from experience that counters those beliefs?